I've heard many times that I'm a "different" person online. I used to take this point very seriously and I developed this demeanor now that seems to convince individuals that I am self-conscious and overly apologetic. When someone I respect pointed this fact out to me and basically berated me for it (I mean this in humor, see I'm doing it even here.... UGHH), I started to analyse why this is and how it came to be so.
I'm very introspective and VERY good at determining who I am and why I feel something so it didn't take me long to figure it out and this is what I've come up with so far: My last relationship (my marriage and best friendship) ended online.
Without going into specifics I feel it essentially came down to miscommunication and hurt feelings because so much of the fighting and disappointment was online. I knew it was the wrong way to handle what was going on but it was the only choice I was given. A major discussion that essentially ended the relationship once and for all, was had online and a month or so afterward when I was in a viable mind state to actually look at the situation in a objective light.... I discovered that there was a vital failure of communication. This failure in communication was my fault. I was not in a clear state of mind (dealing with some tragedy) and apparently did not communicate clearly.
This is why I apologize so much online, especially to people I value in some way. I am working on this issue and now that it's been brought to my attention it will drastically reduce but bad habits die hard.
If I apologize to you for something that I have no reason to apologize for.... slap me the next time you see me in public.
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